Trans e ent life

What not to wear

2011-06-23T15:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is why the trans community has a negative stigma with society. The man travels by plane dressing and looking like a freak. The airlines should know better not to allow or let this man on board, as it makes ppl uncomfortable and think about the kids. Would you sit next to this freak or even want to sit in the seat he occupied for the next flight. what ever reason this man is dressing like a 2 cent whore and exposing that to passengers is beyond me, this man needs help or locked up. True GID or Tran-sexuals try or do blend in to society. such a shame this happens as it becomes ingrained in people's minds of what transgender people are and this is act does not represent the people that have GID. this man should be banned

2011-03-11T14:22:00.000-08:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/11/british-transgender-woman_n_834501.html

now i am all for trans health but this one i am really not liking. a trans woman (m2f)goes to court to ask for breast enlargement cause the hormones didn't create enough. and the courts said no.. now mind you this is a 59 yo person... so i am glad that the NHS courts in the UK said no. not every thing should be paid for under the NHS and breast enlargement to me is a cosmetic surgery. i agree with one comment on this article a woman says "As a natural born woman, I think someone should tell C that big boobs don't make anyone more of a woman."

now for here in the USA.. i think that HRT, psychological evaluations, should be paid for if we get a national health system... and FFS, SRS, should be either 50% paid out of pocket. and breast enlargement should be paid full out of pocket. its an elective surgery for woman and it should be the same for transgender women.

all in all tho i believe that FFS that makes you not look like you and a just a plastic version of a girl is all fake. and i hate fake people

now this is under an national health care syetem, taxpayer money is used in health care insurance.

now with a company that has insurance and willing to cover the expenses of FFS and SRS and all other healthcare for transgender people is different. this next story involves companies in the US willing to foot the bill for its transgender employees. i applaud all the companies willing to help and accept transgender employees and assist them in their health needs.

Transgender Day of Rememberace

2010-11-21T07:05:00.001-08:00

Transgender day of Remeberance, Nov 20 , 2010
I attended a TDOR that was held at St Pauls Lutheran church in Teaneck. It was not a large gathering id say about 20 or so people came out, many were in or part of the TG community. As usual it was solemn occasion, with songs of praise and reading of each transgendered person who died for who they were.
During the reading of the names and how their stories, one put a tear in everyone’s eye, it was
Roy Antonio Jones III
Location: Southampton, NY
Cause of Death: Punched repeatedly and grabbed by the neck
Date of Death: August 1, 2010 Roy was 16 Months old.
Note: 20 year old Pedro Jones told police he had struck the infant several times with a closed fist. Jones said he was “trying to make him act like a boy instead of a little girl.”

This was the saddest and most tragic of them all. After the ceremony we all walked to the reception area to talk and thank the sponsors that helped put the program together.
As I was talking and chit chatting with friends I saw this young lady in the corner alone.
I walked up to her and started talking to her.
This young lady who just came to see what a TDOR was, had no connection to the trans community or know a trans person. She wanted to learn about the people that lost their lives for who there were. I got to know this young lady and she is an extraordinary woman who wants to learn more about the community to make this world a happier place. I have not disclosed her name or other information as I do not want her to have problems if any, but I rather be safe than sorry. I was glad that she came out and I wish more people like her would come out and talk to us, so we can show you we are just like you. She has a beautiful soul and a beautiful person and she reminds me of a young Tina Fey, (her resemblance). I hope I have made a new friend with this young lady, she has a huge heart and awesome personality. oh one thing i didn't ask was "what was her initial assumption or feeling before she came, and was her assumption correct or not?"

This yrs TDOR in Teaneck is a first of many to come, and though I don’t really agree to always have this kind of ceremony I would rather see more of a community outreach and doing something more like what we do on MLK day. I understand the need to remember those that came before us and those that died for who they were, but we need to also learn and move forward and educate the community or communities that we are involved in. its just not adults that suffer or have problems, children do also. We should teach and educate our children to not be prejudice, become bullies or have bigotry comments and actions, but to make them a person that cares and stands up for others.

So I say to remember these that died we must go out there and educate people that we meet. To show then that we are just like them, we are human beings with rights and we have friends and family and that we are productive members of society and in out community.

Here is the link to TDOR
http://www.transgenderdor.org/?page_id=1194

transgenderism gene

2010-11-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

http://transeentlife.blogspot.com/

work or not to work

2010-04-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

Well being unemployed really Sucks! and my unemployment claim is about to go dry. I have been thinking of a career change and move into Nursing, there are a lot of things I need to do like take the CLEPs as the college I am attending says my math and science are outdated and I need to retake the courses or pass the CLEP to be accepted.. that really sucks but I have to do it. In the mean time i am in a quandary, should I go back to retail as Kathy or not? If I go back would I be allowed to dress as a woman, and be treated as one. even tho I will be receiving checks in my male name. I am not transitioning nor do I seek it. I am non op ts or as i like to call it an in-betweener. which I'll explain in another post.. if i am allowed to be on the selling floor interacting with people or will i be but in the background.
yes I am afraid of what the outcome will be, that I will not get the job because of what I am..

crossdressing the lines

2009-10-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Crossdressing the lines

Regardless if the facts are true that this guy has GID (gender Identity disorder), it’s the fact that he murdered his wife and is not a convicted felon. He is seeking the state to pay for his transition, while in jail. This blatant act is not just he is making the trans community look like fools that are seeking nothing but money. Why should the state pay for something that is for personal reasons. Do inmates have rights, they do but its limited due to the suffering they caused. He went before a judge to argue that the DOC is being unfair and treated in an inhumane way, by not allowing him to get hair removal, as it will help his appearance to look more like a woman. Ha I laugh sorry you don’t look like a woman at all. I think his motives are not what they really are, to become a woman.
The judge should not allow this crap to happen.

http://bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/20091020killer_plucks_at_judges_heartstrings_still_roots_for_taxpayer-funded_hair_removal/srvc=home&position=4

where oh where can she be

2009-09-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

My Q on yahoo answers 9/1/2009 9 am
My picture as the avatar

Why is it so hard to find a woman who wants to date a cross-dresser that is looking for a relationship?

I am a cd that is looking for a serious relationship with a genetic woman and start a family. cross-dressing does not mean cds are gay or wanting to become a woman. Yes, I go out in public, and I am out to many people. There are many cds out there who are looking for a serious relationship.

One of the most daunting questions to ask and most people answer that question with a preconception of what a cross-dresser is, either from movies or talk shows or from their own conception of what a cross-dresser is to be. I posed this question to all knowing community (hmmm…), of Yahoo Answers! In the Family & Relationships > Singles & Dating section as well as the Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered section and the answer are so different and some what predictable between the two its interesting to read. I will post the replies later in this article.

I asked this question because I am searching for a relationship with a woman (genetic girl.) one that I can start a family with and one that can grow with me and accept this side of me. I am at an age where I feel I need to finally settle down, yet still allowing the female side have her freedom. I know it’s a difficult situation I put my self in one that I did not choose, but one that choose me.

I have been out to my family and many friends so I am no afraid of what might or might not happen, as with any life choice we make, we face the consequences that happen to follow that decision.

In my unending search for the love of my life, I of course have certain traits that I am looking for, I know, I know… its an impossible but I know she is out there.
I wont list the traits and qualities here as I have posted a you tube video of my plea.

Most cross-dressers out there are in the same boat as I am in and are having to give up or hide their femme side and it eats at them constantly which in turn makes them at least to me a ticking time bomb (will elaborate on this in another entry.) I believe, I am somewhat different as I have done a lot in my personal growth and have gone to “strait” places and have no problem blending in, of course there are still things that I would like to check off on my list but overall most are checked off. So with that said I feel that I don’t need to dress so often ( I know shocking) but I know I won’t stop its part of who I am.
Well in regards to the answers to my question, it shows me that the population en mass are confused about what a cross-dresser is or is not. And the assumptions that people have about sexuality and masculinity verses femininity is so off its funny. But as you will read it is all somewhat positive.

These are from the Single & Dating here are a few

• G*****g
Because you're weird! Why would a woman want to share her panties and stockings with you?
• g******h
I think most women would have to get to know you as a man first, then be introduced to the 'other you' gradually at a later stage. Otherwise they might not understand, and be freaked out.
• j**********8
Most women want a man. And those women who prefer other women want a "real" woman. And no one wants to get involved with a selfish person, no matter what gender they might be. People like you with unusual fetishes are usually more-selfish-than-usual.
G*******h is terribly wrong; women need to know about your fetish right up front. You can learn that from most any website or Yahoo Group dedicated to your interest in CD.
• j*********m
hello!!!!!!! no girl wants to go out with a guy who cross-dresses....cuz thats a sign of insecurity, its telling her ur not sure of wat sex u want to be and that i may change your mind at any time, sumthing she wont feel good about.....

here are a few from the LBGT section

• c****z.
woman have a deep inner desire to be loved by a man. It gives them a sense of protection.

• w*************s
i dont know?...
i would date you.

they may be hard to find but there is someone out there for you.
keep looking.

• M*****K
Because sadly, there aren't as many people who are accepting out there as there should be... My suggestion would be to stick around LGBT for some options, from my experience bi girls are most likely to be supportive partners for cross-dressers, since they're not uptight about femininity. I've known a few happy couples like that.

Cute hair, btw!

These answers go to show you how miss informed people are and that education and understanding is the key to a better society that we can all live in.

pet peeve 1

2009-07-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

Pet peeve 1

One of my pet peeves is that trans-women and or cross-dressers don’t dress their age or wear age appropriate clothing. I don’t want to see a 60 year old dress like a Teen ager with a mini skirt and midriff top, sporting a hello kitty bag. Or seeing a 45 year old wear a little girls dress with white stockings and maryjanes, and holding a teddy bear and huge lollipop. REALLY!!! Cmon this is not clothing to be worn out side at such ages. “ the cute factor is not there SORRY. If your over a certain age you shouldn’t wear a mini, and this goes for Genetic women as well. This is not just on mini skirts

I have been waiting for an article of as ass that dress inappropriately.
http://lohud.com/article/20090724/NEWS02/907240408/-1/newsfront
now here is a prime example of cross-dressers that just had no common sense. Weather it was or not a trans person or cross-dresser it still points out the damage it can have on the community. If a CD or TG person steps out in public PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE dress your age or dress appropriately as much as possible blend in, STOP dressing in lil girls clothes. Thanks

media coverage

2009-07-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

The negative media coverage

Recently Dateline has been re-airing shows about criminals and killers, and what attributes the defendants have done in the past to conjure up an mental instability and to demonize cross-dressing. In such cases as the mary lynn witherspoon and Dr Sharp of killing his wife.
This just really burns me as a trans-gender person , knowing how hard it is to be accepted in society as normal and not some freak off the streets. Linking cross-dressing and or transvestism to being or having a mental breakdown is simply ludicrous.

Having negative media coverage is damaging to any community and impacts the people of that community. The trans-gender community is even more so effected as its can make people fear and misunderstand us which in turn cause death to someone.

I encourage those shows the positive and educate the public on what transgender really means. To see that we are normal people living normal lives, and being a positive role model to everyone. Interviews from Oprah , Barbara, Tyra, and even Larry King. And soon to be Juju Chan, these media outlet makes us feel normal and accepted and I want to Thank them all for doing a wonderful job.

what to do about it....

2009-06-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

Ahh Chasity Bono, the love child of Sonny and Cher, is coming out once again, this time she wants to change her sex, to become the man she always thought she was. Chasity will changer her name to Chaz and hopes to have GRS (gender reassignment surgery) to complete his transition.

Chasity came out to as a lesbian some 2 decades ago, and fought for gay and lesbian rights. Now coming out as a trans-men he now fights for the transgender side as well as the gay and lesbian.

on another note

Juju Chang of abc speaks about how we can educate our children to allow them to understand what is going on. Here is her brief interview on her blog http://blogs.abcnews.com/juju/2009/06/the-quick-fix-juju-juggles-gender-identity.html

I think that telling kids or if kids as questions tell them what is going on, and don’t ignore the situation. Kids are always black and white when they think so tell the truth.
I hope juju educates her kids and husband on these issues to make this a better place.

Asses on the radio 6/3/09

2009-06-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

I don’t know about you but what I read and heard from these asses are very disturbed. They seem to encourage that parents of children that trans-gender to correct their children by beating and or verbally abusing them to force them to live a normal life.
This morning show heard in Sacramento and Reno has crossed the line by telling their audiences that it’s not normal or right to have children who are trans-gender live.
Hear what Rob, Dawn and Arnie have to say about this on their site. A journalist writes his reaction in the Huffington Post as it has reached national attention and caused a huge uproar on their small station.

I am not condemning their right of freedom of speech, as we all have the right to speak our mind but I am condemning their attitude towards the families of Trans-gender children. It’s wrong to abuse children no matter what gender they are or want to be. Its this kind of attitude that bigotry is developed and we must not encourage that attitude in this world today.

can you hear me now? 6/1/09

2009-06-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

Speaking, talking and chit chatting are important in our society, with out it people have no idea what you want. Deep voices are very common in genetic women, such as Kathleen Turner and Lindsey Lohan, though some are achieved by external stimuli in Lindsy’s case. How deep/low voice can a genetic woman go with out being mistaken as a man? A poll I am doing and will post results if there is any.

Voice is a crucial step in a trans-gender’s life especially M2F. No surgery or estrogen or a magic pill will make you sound more feminine. Its all practice, practice, practice and more practice, training your vocal chords to resonate in the female range takes time. My friend Candi from FL does a great tutorial on having a female voice,

As for me I think I sound like a woman, with a low voice. I have up on sounding more female if it comes it comes. I am happy with my voice. Good luck every one

face to face 5/19/09

2009-05-19T06:18:00.001-07:00

Face to face?
Well having told many of my friends and how they are ok with my lifestyle. Their willingness to understand it by asking many questions, which I am always happy to answer, I have come to the realization that many don’t want to meet me face to face. Now I understand that most of my friends are now married and or have children to raise and it can be hard to hang out. It can be hard for them to come face to face with me, when they knew me in a different light long ago. As years go by and we develop our own mind set we all change. I look at it in two ways: 1) I am way too ugly to meet in person and will scare them away or 2) my impeccable bad timing on telling my friends. Either or it just seems to me that no one wants to hang with me, or want to meet me in person.

I think many transgender people go through this ordeal and it never gets easier revealing yourself to friends and family. It will take a while for those you told to adjust to seeing you in a different way and for them to fully understand your choice lifestyle. Remember that it took you many years to figure out who you are and to start telling people. You have to give then the same respect. Some will come around quicker than others. Just allow then to see who you are on the inside.

This is for those that cross-dress, and can almost “pass” or live part time in the other sex. But to those that are transitioning to the other sex, it will take a lot longer for friends and family to come around.

what s love got to do with it?

2009-05-15T21:42:00.001-07:00

nothing!!

as we try to find and understand love we are are torn between reality and fantasy. who we want and what we want may not be what we need. after watching some television on a Friday night, i have come to realize how much my emotions in play when watching the show. the intense emotion love and caring are way in front and that sinking lonely heart syndrome is right behind it.

we have lost the art of love, with all this technology as great as it is, love between wires is not a way to find love. it creates a need for love and using technology is the fill for that need. yes those great love stories on television or radio that say they found love online, are few and far between. but love between wires is not "nature taking its course". people now adays are too overwhelmed with getting ahead, getting that 11million dollar house and buying love. and in the end we are more alone than when we started.

love eludes us all in our world today, there is no more hours in the day for love, that is our excuse, commitment is a word that is not part of today's language. we never stop to smell the flowers anymore. with so much pressure and stress we tend to forget about ourselves. we really need to give ourselves time away from our normal work lives and live.

i know, i should take my own advice. but love for me and in my situation is something only once in a million yrs. tho i yearn to be loved, by some one really understands me, i know it will be a lonely road for me. i just live live with out stress and enjoy what i do and try just be myself.

i am one of those people that come and go in peoples lives to make them see more of them selves or something else. that is how i see myself.

there was a quote from a tv show tonight about god and spirituality, which i cant quote word for word but the gist of it is "that god is everywhere around us and in the people that we surround ourselves with that do those small little things to help us."

when we feel love we feel comfort and belonging, that is what i feel love to be.

so i do hope she is out there some where.

have a good night everyone i am outta here................ for now stay tuned

almost myself review

2009-05-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

Almost Myself review

Over the weekend I viewed a documentary on the TG community, by Tom Murray titled “Almost Myself”. It’s a little over an hour long and focuses on the diversity of the TG community according to tom. . The main character named Judy in the beginning of the film is a TG woman in her 40s that transition at age 19 and is now reversing that procedure to become a man. The other remaining 6 women who were also men that had transitioned or living full time as women talked about what it is to be a TG woman and the many struggles and loss they encountered.

To me Tom didn’t look hard enough in to the TG community his documentary only reflects the women who are living full time or is post op (after surgery) and only on the M2F side of it. There was no CD or an in betweener (cd/non op ts) as I call it, in his documentary. The women that Tom spoke to many were activist in the community and their opinion of their view on the community and one Dr.

The issue to me is that many transgender people, those rushes in to GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) suffer more in the end if they are not content with what they done. They rush in to it thinking it will end their misery and they can live like themselves, but in fact that, it just started. . I understand that GID (gender identity disorder) for some, surgery is the only way to make them balance and having a piece of mind to be happy. I am not against surgery; it is the individual I am against that makes hasty decisions to satisfy one desire.

The documentary is to me just one mans view on his take of the trans community.

http://www.almostmyself.com/

here is a preview
almost myself preview

Friends 5/8/09

2009-05-08T06:56:00.001-07:00

Friends, how important are they?
Having friends to share those triumphant moments, devastating defeats and a shoulder to lean or cry on, is one of the most fundamental basic relationships to have. Friends come in all different backgrounds. We lose, gain and hold on to friends.
To a transgender person like me, we have to tread carefully in choosing friends. For most of my life I had always set boundaries, lived two separate lives having two set of friends, ones that know me as a woman and ones that know me as a man, and no one in between.
It was easy at first to separate my friends, as I had a small group of them. Work friends only new my male persona. And my cross-dresser friends only knew of my female persona. With very few learning what I looked like as a male.

In dealing with my transgenderism and not allowing my male persona friends find out became more of a burden to me, always lying and hiding the real me from them, and not educating them. I have lost many friends because I was afraid to tell them and we lost contact.

Being alone with no friends gets to yah, no one to talk to about things about life about anything, and having friends that understand is so important, that they accept you for your self. Having made the choice to tell everyone as a new years resolution. Slowly merging my female and male friends, I have come to love all my friends even more

To me friends are so important for emotional support, being able to just let your self be you and not having to fake it.

I have been so jealous of women, just because of the strong bond in their friendships, the BFF. Many guys don’t have that kind of bond, men are not that emotional, towards each other. And they way men handle it really differs that of women. Don’t get me wrong the I know there is that saying “keep your friends close but your enemies closer” but as with all things in life there are risk. Choose your friends wisely, and don’t afraid to just expose yourself to an old friend. You never know what will happen, they may just surprise you. That, has happened to me many times, and I am all the better for it and society as a whole is better.

to tell or not to tell? 5/5/2009

2009-05-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

To tell or Not to tell, that is the questions? Transparent.

What a weekend. Starting Friday, I requested a friend under my male persona in Face book and she accepted. She was a HS friend or really more of an acquaintance, as we never were in the same circles in HS. In those days I was just merely a no-body, with a hand full of friends and no one knew of my alter-ego identity. The fear of being ridiculed and picked on and more of a loner kind of made me not tell a soul. Also the mere fact that I looked so horrid and un-lady like was a sheer turnoff. I looked like Tammy Faye Baker or Mimi from the “Drew Carey Show”, bad makeup skills and bad hair/wig. The only positive thing going for me was that I was short, and weighed like 125 or so pounds. Okay, okay I am rambling sorry….

Back to my HS friend which is my most recent reveal was to, that I mentioned above. I wanted to network with her and possibly help her with her business in some way. So I said to her “I will connect to you with my other profile.” I gave her no prior warning when I added her as a friend under my female profile. To her surprise she was gasping and loved it and commented on my wall, with a positive comment “This is hilarious! I love you even more now! You go girlfriend!” and from there a new friendship emerged.
The other HS friends I have told were 2 other girls, and 2 guys. All positive reactions and understanding of me, some are more curious than others and they ask many questions which I try to answer, I love to educate my friends on this topic and my community.

It’s hard to pick who to tell and when to tell and how to tell someone of your Transgender side. For me it’s the hardest part is who to tell. Coming from a republican strong hold and an affluent area, you can make enemies quick, can ruin your life in a snap. I made a commitment/resolution to tell everyone I knew about me starting in 2007. That’s including old high school friends and church/religious friends and old work friends. I have begun the process, having been out since 1999, coming out in a non traditional way of being a model on an X rated web site,( I will explain in another post at a later date.) Later coming out in public in 2004, then out to family 2005 and slowly out to old friends that I want known of who I am. And to tell any girl I am in a relationship with.

This is a really scary and daunting thing that most CDs/TGs encounter and most are negative or the outcome was not how they pictured it. This is what is pent up within Transgender people, the urge to tell people with out consequences or backlash.
Many transgender individuals wait too long or because of their male responsibilities such as work or being a parent or and being a husband. The few fortunate ones that have found a balance with in both genders and has understanding SO. I have spoken to said that they were honest from the start, and their outcome usually a happy and understanding partnership. Even fewer are out to everyone including work.
Being honest with ones self and allowing others to see who you are with out the stereotypical male ego. Being comfortable in your own skin, if you are not fully accepting of yourself as who and what you are, you will always be hiding. The key to all this is education, educating others of what and who you are. From my experience revealing this side of me, I have had nothing but positive responses and acceptance.

I believe it’s a process of our self acceptance to tell people, and it lifts a huge burden on our shoulders, it frees us from our mind. I accept the consequences of my decisions to revel who and what I am. Honesty to me is the best policy, and if I loose friendships and partnerships it is not my loss, it is theirs and their lack of understanding and education on this community

TGIF- MayDAY 5/1/2009

2009-05-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

It’s Friday and this week has been a ok week at work slow but ok. I am constantly on line talking and surfing the net for news and useless info to fill my mind with. How fun is that huh?...

This week a couple friends of mine instant message me about issues that women and t women have to deal with.

Friend one wanted to know how to “tuck” a technique used to hide the male genitals to appear female when wearing underwear or tight clothing. Now my friend is a post op female and is asking me for her friend because they are going on vacation to a beach resort. Her friend who is a TS woman still has her male parts and needs to hide them in a bikini.
Now I am not expert but I told her there are many ways to”TUCK.” Some are so barbaric it’s painful. Such as using DUCT TAPE its sounds painful, cause it is painful.
The other way is a more natural way, by pushing the testicles in to the lower abdomen cavity, (that is where they were stored before they drop.) and pulling your penis back and behind taking the excess skin with it towards the anus. I told her that it different for every Trans woman who still needs to hide her male parts as some don’t even tuck. My friend was saying she didn’t know how to tell her how to tuck which I thought was funny because she too was a male. How ever she tells her friend how to tuck, in the end its all how we perceive ourselves and how important it is for them to “PASS”.

My second friend, who is starting her journey to womanhood after years of denial and hiding her true self, just started laser hair removal treatments. She asked me what I did to reduce the redness/breakout after laser hair removal? My reply, I did nothing after my laser treatment, and explained to her that some people are more sensitive to the laser treatments than others. She goes on to explain to me how she got the redness/breakout, it was a the shaving product that she applied to her face, and she was so upset as to what happened, and was trying to find remedies to relieve the breakout. I told her to use like home natural remedies such as milk and oatmeal mask, or an avocado olive oil mask to reduce the breakout. So I hope she does and or find some other products to help cool the breakout on her face.

Both of my friends that I tried to help, is what all TG women go through, either just starting out dressing or in transition to become a female. Tucking and getting that smooth look and having flawless skin is one of the many characteristics that needs to be checked off and or perfected or corrected.